Heart lines have bucketloads of information just waiting to be understood and examined.  I’m in the process of launching a series a videos (free, btw) all about how Heart Lines really “work” in our lives.

It’s not all about romance and roses – to me, heart lines are the central focus of how we ARE in the world.  Our heart lines determine how we communicate, how we react to others’ communication and of course how we express ourselves.

I’ve long considered myself a very outgoing yet PRIVATE person.  I can talk your ear off about just about any topic that I’m jazzed about, but when it comes to really talking about how I feel — I’m quick to dance around the topic and put the spotlight back on you.  This trait is shared by a number of my nearest and dearest friends.  I guess it’s true that “like attracts like.”

You might ask, “If you’re all so guarded, how can you really consider yourselves friends?”

Over the years (close to 20 now) we’ve built up trust in each other’s ability to hold our secrets dear and, for me at least, I’m learning that sharing what’s really going on — deep down – is definitely preferable than putting on a mask, faking it or carrying the weight of whatever the challenge may be all by myself.  You might say that in 20 years I’ve grown up.

What’s interesting is that my heart lines have slowly changed over the last 7+ years — from a very solid “Strong and Silent” or Hermit line on both hands to one with a little more curviness.  On my right hand, the heart line is starting stretch out into a Nurturer!

You see, a Strong and Silent heart line wants and craves privacy.  To feel safe, even in the most intimate relationships, someone with this heart line will crave plenty of solitude and ‘cave-time.’  If they find themselves in a career that calls for them to be open and social, they may need twice as much cave-time when they come home at night.  The combination of a Strong and Silent heart line and career that calls for “being on” leads to the phenomena that I refer to as “outgoing introvert syndrome.”

Not only did I have two Strong & Silent Heart lines, but I also have a life lesson (in other words I’m getting a PhD in the subject) around trust, intimacy and surrender issues.

Cool right?  I taught myself from a very young age to use my outgoing personality to avoid any in-depth or potentially ‘intimate’ conversations.  I’ve always craved cave-time and I spent years beating myself for getting close to people who hurt me.  All part of the PhD process though!

Nowadays, one of my favorite things to do is gather with my BFFs and talk and laugh.  And really share with each other.  We don’t let each other get away with deflections.  We return to the subject at hand and we simply hold space for each other to be fully present.

This is, of course, the work I do in my business.

However, when my business was challenged and I had a hard time attracting my perfect clients, I now realize it was due to my belief that honoring someone else’s privacy was more important than holding space for them to be vulnerable.  We always attract what we’re putting out to the world.  As long as I was withholding my truth, so were my clients and those who were attracted to me as potential clients.

When you enter into a relationship of any sort, the most scary thing for you (particularly if you have Strong and Silent heart lines) is to be fully open and vulnerable.  Still if you’re looking for breakthroughs and guidance – the only way through is in being vulnerable.

This privacy thing isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation.  You need to reflect on where you feel safe and where you don’t.  When you feel unsafe, spend some time in stillness and ask yourself what it would take to feel secure.  From there you can move forward.

What started my shift was my deep desire to make a true and lasting difference in the world.  One person and one animal at a time.  The still small voice that guides me gently pointed out that in order to make a difference in the world, I’d need to make a difference for me – and challenge my own fears of intimacy.  I had to let go of my belief that I was rude and out of line when I wanted to ask friends and clients what was TRULY happening with them.  I also had to be willing to find people I could trust and to share my truth with them.

The whole thing hasn’t been easy and I’ve definitely released information to the wrong people or shared more than necessary – but each time, I learn something.

I’m curious — do you consider yourself a private person?  How has that helped or hindered you in your life?  Share with me in the comments!

The thing I am MOST proud of in my life (this far) is my tender, funny, and passionate relationship with my soul-mate, Michael.  (that’s us at my baby sister’s wedding 2 years ago)

Before I met Michael I had a history of consistently dating the WRONG person. 

Over and over again.  I seemed to have been born believing that I didn’t deserve love and couldn’t trust anyone but myself.  So you know what I did?  I kept picking men that would prove that sad belief TRUE.

My challenges around relationships were so deep-seated that I even got married.  Twice.  (to different fellas, if you’re wondering).

After my first divorce I swore off marriage and dating.  I felt like a failure and damaged goods.  To top it off, I was also very much frozen in place by the belief that I had let people down by not “sticking it out” or “fixing” the problem.  I worried about him, his family, my family and even the slew of colleagues and friends of friends I ran into in our relatively small community.

While I knew in my heart that I’d done the right thing for myself I was feeling incomplete without a man in my life. 

You see, I’d been a ‘serial monogamist’ since falling for my first real boyfriend in 8th grade.  I was that girl who annoys the other girls by always having a boyfriend.  I told myself that I couldn’t help it – it wasn’t my fault if boys, and then men, found me attractive and good company.  The brutal truth was, I liked the attention more than I liked myself.  I’m definitely not the first woman who believed that her value only came from the opinions of others.  I could only see myself as beautiful, funny, smart and valuable through the eyes of a beau.

My second husband seemed nothing like the first.  Not only in looks but in demeanor, drive and passion.  I let myself believe that his dynamic personality would make up for the fact that I didn’t trust him.  I wanted to believe that his ability to provide and shower me with compliments and things was enough to make up for any cold feet that I might be having.

I convinced myself that my occasional sense that he wasn’t the right guy for me – was simply a result of my habit of picking the wrong guy.  My ability to trust my higher self was so out of whack that even though I had a strong desire to call off the wedding 6 weeks before the Big Day, I gave in when he called me on my reticence.  After all, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

No wonder that marriage didn’t survive. 

Not only were we incompatible on many fundamental levels, but I had completely lost my sense of self.  I no longer trusted my intuition and barely listened to my own needs.  I looked to him for validation and when he withheld it I’d either get mad and resentful, or I’d become overly apologetic and obsequious.

After that divorce, I wanted to curl up into the fetal position and snuggle at home all day with my two dogs and my cat.  For better or worse, that wasn’t feasible.  I had a business to run.  I had people who depended on me.  So I pulled myself up and kept moving.

I realized that I was the common denominator in the failed marriages and all the various relationship disasters I’d had in my life.  I started to see the pattern in each relationship and I accepted my responsibility for creating that pattern.  And slowly, I got on board with the knowledge that to be loved, you must fully love yourself.

Rather than beat myself up I decided to regroup.  Emotionally and spiritually and physically. 

Unlike Elizabeth Gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame, I didn’t have the opportunity to travel the world in search of clarity and healing.  Like Elizabeth Gilbert, I was willing to own my part in creating my life and to make a conscious effort to get to the bottom of the cycle.

In a year’s time, I walked myself through a process that healed me, allowed me to see my own value and opened the connection to my higher self.  Taking specific and daily steps to create love for myself resulted in attracting Michael into my life.

Now one of the things I do in my business is help other divorced women reconnect to their highest wisdom so that they can attract their perfect match.  We work together through the exact same process that I used myself to free up the place in their hearts for true, soul-mate love.

I’d love to provide you with the guidance you need as you transition in your committed relationship.  Why not subscribe to my ezine (use the box in the top right hand column)? You’ll get weekly insights, tips and guidance to help you connect with your purpose and passions, learn to recognize your own brilliance and find ways to serve yourself!

Just about every single person who hears that I know how to read hands stops to ask me if I can tell them about their relationship.

Sometimes the query is rather crass, like a woman at her company Holiday party who sat with a thud for her readingand asked, “So, am I going to get laid THIS  year?”  Since there were only a few days left in the current year, I presumed she meant that and said so – to lighten the situation.  She wasn’t amused.  “yeah, NEXT year, will I get laid?”

Sometimes the query is veiled, like the divorced, empty-nester mom who said she wanted to talk about her next career move, but kept coming back to the challenges she was having with a new guy she just started dating.

Over the years I’ve come to the very obvious conclusion that what everyone at a crossroads in their life is searching for – is proof of their value.  That they are lovable.  That they are worthy.  That they are heard.

For many, that proof only comes when you see yourself reflected in a lover’s eyes.  Sadly, this belief limits us from actually finding and connecting with our true love or soul mate.  If you don’t believe your value – you’re only going to attract people that don’t believe they are valuable.  This sucks, by the way.

Here’s one of the places hands help – because you can’t fudge the answers like on an assessment test (even if you only do that subconsciously) your hands tell the truth about the wonder that is you.

I’m not blowing smoke up your butt here — you are a wonder.  Both the way you make a gourmet meal out of whatever’s in the fridge and the way you let the dust bunnies build up around you – are just some of the signs of the miracle of you.

When you tune into the gift of you – as laid out in your hands and your fingerprints, you can start to draft a program to buy into your worth.  From there you can use your hands to determine the TRUE non-negotiables when it comes to lasting love and learn the tools you need to communicate those boundaries as you build a true equal partnership.

I’ve been helping divorced women clear out their spiritual closets and make room for love for three years.  It just never occurred to me to talk about it like this.  After all, I’m divorced. Twice.  So I assumed that would make me ‘suspect’ when it came to a guide to hand-picking your love.  Maybe that’s what makes me perfect?

If you’re curious about how your hands can help you transform your relationship with love – subscribe to my Weekly Wisdom newsletter where I’ll share insights, tips and a-has about hand-picking the love of your life once and for all.  (you can subscribe by filling in your email address in the little box at the top of the right hand column!)