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What’s the Cost of Being a Private Person?

By on May 17, 2012 in palmistry, Personal Development, Relationships, Spirituality

Heart lines have bucketloads of information just waiting to be understood and examined.  I’m in the process of launching a series a videos (free, btw) all about how Heart Lines really “work” in our lives.

It’s not all about romance and roses – to me, heart lines are the central focus of how we ARE in the world.  Our heart lines determine how we communicate, how we react to others’ communication and of course how we express ourselves.

I’ve long considered myself a very outgoing yet PRIVATE person.  I can talk your ear off about just about any topic that I’m jazzed about, but when it comes to really talking about how I feel — I’m quick to dance around the topic and put the spotlight back on you.  This trait is shared by a number of my nearest and dearest friends.  I guess it’s true that “like attracts like.”

You might ask, “If you’re all so guarded, how can you really consider yourselves friends?”

Over the years (close to 20 now) we’ve built up trust in each other’s ability to hold our secrets dear and, for me at least, I’m learning that sharing what’s really going on — deep down – is definitely preferable than putting on a mask, faking it or carrying the weight of whatever the challenge may be all by myself.  You might say that in 20 years I’ve grown up.

What’s interesting is that my heart lines have slowly changed over the last 7+ years — from a very solid “Strong and Silent” or Hermit line on both hands to one with a little more curviness.  On my right hand, the heart line is starting stretch out into a Nurturer!

You see, a Strong and Silent heart line wants and craves privacy.  To feel safe, even in the most intimate relationships, someone with this heart line will crave plenty of solitude and ‘cave-time.’  If they find themselves in a career that calls for them to be open and social, they may need twice as much cave-time when they come home at night.  The combination of a Strong and Silent heart line and career that calls for “being on” leads to the phenomena that I refer to as “outgoing introvert syndrome.”

Not only did I have two Strong & Silent Heart lines, but I also have a life lesson (in other words I’m getting a PhD in the subject) around trust, intimacy and surrender issues.

Cool right?  I taught myself from a very young age to use my outgoing personality to avoid any in-depth or potentially ‘intimate’ conversations.  I’ve always craved cave-time and I spent years beating myself for getting close to people who hurt me.  All part of the PhD process though!

Nowadays, one of my favorite things to do is gather with my BFFs and talk and laugh.  And really share with each other.  We don’t let each other get away with deflections.  We return to the subject at hand and we simply hold space for each other to be fully present.

This is, of course, the work I do in my business.

However, when my business was challenged and I had a hard time attracting my perfect clients, I now realize it was due to my belief that honoring someone else’s privacy was more important than holding space for them to be vulnerable.  We always attract what we’re putting out to the world.  As long as I was withholding my truth, so were my clients and those who were attracted to me as potential clients.

When you enter into a relationship of any sort, the most scary thing for you (particularly if you have Strong and Silent heart lines) is to be fully open and vulnerable.  Still if you’re looking for breakthroughs and guidance – the only way through is in being vulnerable.

This privacy thing isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation.  You need to reflect on where you feel safe and where you don’t.  When you feel unsafe, spend some time in stillness and ask yourself what it would take to feel secure.  From there you can move forward.

What started my shift was my deep desire to make a true and lasting difference in the world.  One person and one animal at a time.  The still small voice that guides me gently pointed out that in order to make a difference in the world, I’d need to make a difference for me – and challenge my own fears of intimacy.  I had to let go of my belief that I was rude and out of line when I wanted to ask friends and clients what was TRULY happening with them.  I also had to be willing to find people I could trust and to share my truth with them.

The whole thing hasn’t been easy and I’ve definitely released information to the wrong people or shared more than necessary – but each time, I learn something.

I’m curious — do you consider yourself a private person?  How has that helped or hindered you in your life?  Share with me in the comments!

 

photo by: exquisitur
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One of the things I’m Most Proud Of

By on May 10, 2012 in Personal Development, Relationships, Spirituality, Success

 

The thing I am MOST proud of in my life (this far) is my tender, funny, and passionate relationship with my soul-mate, Michael.  (that’s us at my baby sister’s wedding 2 years ago)

Before I met Michael I had a history of consistently dating the WRONG person. 

Over and over again.  I seemed to have been born believing that I didn’t deserve love and couldn’t trust anyone but myself.  So you know what I did?  I kept picking men that would prove that sad belief TRUE.

My challenges around relationships were so deep-seated that I even got married.  Twice.  (to different fellas, if you’re wondering).

After my first divorce I swore off marriage and dating.  I felt like a failure and damaged goods.  To top it off, I was also very much frozen in place by the belief that I had let people down by not “sticking it out” or “fixing” the problem.  I worried about him, his family, my family and even the slew of colleagues and friends of friends I ran into in our relatively small community.

While I knew in my heart that I’d done the right thing for myself I was feeling incomplete without a man in my life. 

You see, I’d been a ‘serial monogamist’ since falling for my first real boyfriend in 8th grade.  I was that girl who annoys the other girls by always having a boyfriend.  I told myself that I couldn’t help it – it wasn’t my fault if boys, and then men, found me attractive and good company.  The brutal truth was, I liked the attention more than I liked myself.  I’m definitely not the first woman who believed that her value only came from the opinions of others.  I could only see myself as beautiful, funny, smart and valuable through the eyes of a beau.

My second husband seemed nothing like the first.  Not only in looks but in demeanor, drive and passion.  I let myself believe that his dynamic personality would make up for the fact that I didn’t trust him.  I wanted to believe that his ability to provide and shower me with compliments and things was enough to make up for any cold feet that I might be having.

I convinced myself that my occasional sense that he wasn’t the right guy for me – was simply a result of my habit of picking the wrong guy.  My ability to trust my higher self was so out of whack that even though I had a strong desire to call off the wedding 6 weeks before the Big Day, I gave in when he called me on my reticence.  After all, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

No wonder that marriage didn’t survive. 

Not only were we incompatible on many fundamental levels, but I had completely lost my sense of self.  I no longer trusted my intuition and barely listened to my own needs.  I looked to him for validation and when he withheld it I’d either get mad and resentful, or I’d become overly apologetic and obsequious.

After that divorce, I wanted to curl up into the fetal position and snuggle at home all day with my two dogs and my cat.  For better or worse, that wasn’t feasible.  I had a business to run.  I had people who depended on me.  So I pulled myself up and kept moving.

I realized that I was the common denominator in the failed marriages and all the various relationship disasters I’d had in my life.  I started to see the pattern in each relationship and I accepted my responsibility for creating that pattern.  And slowly, I got on board with the knowledge that to be loved, you must fully love yourself.

Rather than beat myself up I decided to regroup.  Emotionally and spiritually and physically. 

Unlike Elizabeth Gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame, I didn’t have the opportunity to travel the world in search of clarity and healing.  Like Elizabeth Gilbert, I was willing to own my part in creating my life and to make a conscious effort to get to the bottom of the cycle.

In a year’s time, I walked myself through a process that healed me, allowed me to see my own value and opened the connection to my higher self.  Taking specific and daily steps to create love for myself resulted in attracting Michael into my life.

Now one of the things I do in my business is help other divorced women reconnect to their highest wisdom so that they can attract their perfect match.  We work together through the exact same process that I used myself to free up the place in their hearts for true, soul-mate love.

I’d love to provide you with the guidance you need as you transition in your committed relationship.  Why not subscribe to my ezine (use the box in the top right hand column)? You’ll get weekly insights, tips and guidance to help you connect with your purpose and passions, learn to recognize your own brilliance and find ways to serve yourself!

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Don’t Confuse a Bitter Pill with a Life Sentence: or Some Palm readers really P*ss me Off

By on April 6, 2012 in palmistry, Personal Development, Questions about Palmistry

 

Sometimes I get so ticked off at other palmists.  Not the ones I know personally, but those other people out there, touting themselves as healers and palm readers who are acting in simply shameful ways.

Last night I met a colleague for the first time in person.  I’d always felt that she was a little chill toward me — and I couldn’t figure out why.  I wrote it off as my own inferiority complex and fears of rejection and the fact that the majority of our interactions happen on line in various social media venues.

When we met she was gracious and delightful and her eyes were full of light and dancing.  She had insightful questions about using hands to help real people in the real world.

Then she pointed to my hand

specifically to that little fork toward the bottom of my life line – where it wraps around the Mount of Venus (that cushy spot below your thumb) and asked, with urgency, “What does that mean?!”

She showed me that she had one too.

I told her that I liken it to a reminder of an event that happened in our earliest years that is in direct alignment with our “stuff” (what I also refer to as Life Lesson or Massive Growth Opportunities).  Sometimes I’ll refer to it as a bitter pill.  You know, when you get an aspirin stuck in your throat?  That feeling and taste sticks with you and that’s what this mark is all about.  Something that sticks with you.

My colleague asked, “so this isn’t going away?” 

“It’s possible, but not likely.”

“Does it go away when you completely deal with whatever it is in the past?”

“Possible, but as much as I’d like to think that I completely heal and learn all facets of my primal wound and lesson, I suspect it’s a lifelong process.  So it will probably be here for the long haul.”

 

 

She seemed relieved.

Then she showed me that she had the same thing on HER dominant hand.

We chatted a bit about childhood and healing and epiphanies and then she told me,

“I had my hands read a long time ago and the palmist told me that this was sign of a life altering illness and I’ve been carrying that around ever since.” 

While she didn’t say exactly how long ago that was, I suspect it’s been more than a decade.

This is what gets me about these so-called palm readers.  Making bold statements like that can alter the life of someone.  And not in a good way. It’s just not cool.

My entire way of being in the world is based on the belief that every single person on the planet has free will.  So how could I predict whether or not someone might or might not face a debilitating illness?

Surely, a bitter pill in the hand can lead to challenges (physical or otherwise)  if the pill is not faced and dealt with.  Life is full of opportunities to face challenges and trauma and come out stronger and more well than when you started.  On the flip side, if you’ve got a childhood trauma that you’re repressing or are not willing to face – it’s eventually going to catch up with you.  Your choice though what you do with it.

The bottom line is this – palmistry is an amazing tool for gaining clarity, working through the tough stuff and creating a map for the best version of our lives.  It’s NOT a game, nor a fortune-telling device where your future is set in stone.

Everything in your hands can change – depending on the choices you make.

If you’ve ever had a palmistry reading with someone who scared the beejesus out of you – tell me about it in the comments – I’ll help you figure out what’s really going on in your hand, okay?

 

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Your Divine Feminine Power

By on March 6, 2012 in Hand Analysis, palmistry, Personal Development, Success

The theme is this — reclaiming our power in the world.

Power
Creative Commons License photo credit: KJGarbutt

At least that what everything comes down to for my clients.  True for me too (marketing lesson 101 – your clients are so much like you it’s like looking in a mirror).

The word power conjures up almost as many chills and challenges as the word money though.

Women come to me wondering why they feel so scattered.

Or what exactly it is that they’re doing wrong in their business because they do not have enough clients to pay the light bill (much less the mortgage).

They’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t fill them up — but they can’t see the light to clear up the mess.

That’s when the digging starts.

Because ultimately they want something to feel different.  They think what they want is something tangible – like a week in Aruba or hot stone massage or time to read a novel – but what they really want is the power to choose the life that feels right for them.

They’re shouldering a bucketload of shoulds and it’s exhausting.

This is where the fun starts.

It’s also scary.

We react with our egos when we’re confronted with the fact that maybe we’re not owning our power.

Power isn’t a title you get at work.  It isn’t the right to wield your wishes on anyone or anything else on the planet.  Power is an inside job.

In hand analysis there’s a lot of power information sitting on and around your first finger.  We call it Jupiter.  He’s the god of the gods – Zeus’ counterpart.

Whether or not you have a strong Jupiter finger is less important than what you do with that finger – or the energy that the finger represents.

Jupiter requires that you get very clear on YOUR vision.

What do you want your present (and future) to look like?  More importantly, what do you want it to feel like?  What will change when that happens?

Now – what’s stopping you?

Dealing with Jupiter and embracing the wisdom of true power in our lives isn’t a one-shot deal.  Most of us spend a lifetime coming to terms with our power.  It’s tied to our value.  It’s tied to our beliefs about money and time and worth.  Still, it’s a worthwhile journey.

I’m not big on catch-phrases – and frankly I think the word “empowerment” has been overused.  Still.  What will it take for you to return to your own wisdom and choose the direction of your own ship?

Want to learn more about how ancient wisdom can help you harness your Divine Feminine Power in the modern world? Sign up for the Weekly Wisdom Ezine (over there on the right hand side).  You’ll get regular insights, tips and specific guidance for identifying, and applying your magical power in the world.

 

 

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