“Failure is not an option.” What a power-driven cliché! I hear it and feel like I need to be in a gym lifting three times my body weight in order to prove that I buy this mantra.
What if turned this idea on its head?
What if Failure is not an option because there is no such thing as failure? I know you’re rolling your eyes right now (I’m psychic, remember?) but stick with me because the truth is fear of failure is the thing that keeps you stuck. Fear of failure is what keeps you sitting on the fence, afraid to pick job A or Job B because you’re afraid to make a mistake.
Fear of failure is what keeps you in a marriage that sucks your soul out. Fear of failure is what keeps you from posting your online dating profile. Fear of failure is what keeps you from launching your business, posting your artwork, singing your heart out at karaoke and submitting your name for that plum assignment you’ve worked your whole life toward.
Fear of failure is what keeps you from earning what you’re worth and being ravished the way you’re meant to be loved. Fear of failure is ruining your childhood dream of you.
But you see, you NEVER actually get to the point of ‘failure’ because you never take action.
So here’s an idea – give fear of failure the middle finger and find out what it’s protecting. Why is it hanging around in the first place?
“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” isn’t really all that useful to answer is it? You spend all your time filling notebooks with your dreams but you never take any action on them. You don’t actually face the reasons you’re afraid of failing and you simply lump them under the Time or Money heading (as in, not enough) and carry on with your life.
You might be so good at putting those dreams in notebooks and filing them away that you don’t even realize how fear is taking over your life.
Fear is just a tool for the ego, which is the little gremlin inside you that wants to edge out your true identity as Divine, so that it can keep you stuck.
Here’s a thought that occurred to me yesterday as I was putzing around my yard (avoiding things that were big and scary in my business)
“You are required to fail, consistently, until failure is no longer real to you.”
This is the way the Universe/God/Angels show up in my life – when I’m most busy in an effort to distract myself from the shit I don’t want to unearth and dig into because it’s SCARY to step into dreams – suddenly a brilliant phrase pops into my mind – fully formed – not like the way I write most of the time – in ellipses and dashes and autocorrect.
You can bet I wrote that muther down.
Then I went back to putzing. Because divine message or not, those peppers were NOT going to water themselves and no one else could worry about what to make for dinner like I could, amiright?
And now, here I am, writing about fear and failure.
There are so many opportunities to fail if we only let them in. it’s partly about reframing the word failure, but it’s also about recognizing who we are in the process.
I don’t think we have to do a happy dance every time something gets dorked up in our business or life. I’m not evolved enough to smile benignly when my computer crashes or when I give a talk and no one shows up. I can aspire to that, but why bother?
Most times that I feel like something has failed, I have a stern talking to myself in my head. Then I clear off my desk, write in my journal and go for a walk with the dogs, in that order.
A few days later my true self peeks around the corner in my mind to see if the ego has calmed down and if it’s safe to come out and regroup. This is a huge improvement – it used to take months or years before I’d revisit a perceived failure (if I’d revisit it at all).
This is the way the dance goes – while it’s part of my hard-wiring (whorls on both my thumbs mean a life purpose driven by a need for success), it’s also a universal quest for humans. So why do we keep ourselves from achieving success simply by allowing a fear of failure to keep us stuck?
Why do you think that is? How do you move through the fear to action? I don’t have all the answers and I would love to hear from you – share your thoughts in the Facebook community, won’t you?